Friendships

Friendships

what is it about that connection?

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I am feeling so blessed…

So special

So fortunate…

This is coming from an incredible high of a birthday week, that was totally unexpected…

Over the past few years, I have made some incredible women friends… and wowza…it is so different and so amazing, and so freakin’ special… something I really have not felt for a long time…funny, in my dance world of almost all women…

 

Let’s back up…

I’ve never been a competitor, early school days had me being friends with the guys, yes, some more intimate than others. But only a couple of girl friends… just more comfortable with boys. For years… the music scene of San Francisco, yes, a girl playing music with all the boys.. Super comfy, no problem, not a sex thing, just hanging and playing my heart…

Then along came tribal bellydance, my early days, and there were…”girlfriends”… my god, the connection and the intimacy was magic, powerful, breathtaking, scary…

Then my creative side took over after several years, my dance life that I had always wanted as a child, working with my muse for the dance, adding my creative eye and skill and passion, and I created a dance form and started teaching a plethora of amazing women. Who could have guessed or wished or even saw it coming? Not me.. Just doing what I loved and letting my guides, my body and heart lead me…

Amazing women… who wanted to dance, who wanted to teach, and yes, some who wanted to be me…

and I always guide my teacher trainees to be wary of crossing the line between personal and business…so often a fucking hard line to discern as our dance and business connections can be full of power and magic and awesomeness. Have you experienced that line?

Having been burned by a few women in those years, my walls were up, my business successful, my personal life became nonexistent as I became a workaholic, yet loving every minute of this “work”, and still meeting so many amazing women around the globe. But I could not be, or allow myself to be, deep friends with most of them because they took much and it was difficult, and I did not know my own boundaries then, like I do now. They were loving and intoxicated with the dance and the connections and the beauty… me with the open heart and willingness to give and share and teach and connect. Too much.

Now, peeps, this is not a “poor me” story… just a lesson learned kind of thing… Not everyone is like that, in fact the majority of my students and dancing friends are completely respectful and aware and awesome… but it still did not mean that I could let my guard down, or that it would prevent me from adding another brick to the wall ( sound like Pink Floyd?). This has been my issue, not anyone else’s!

 

Long story shorter…

Come full circle…I have desired, and made new friends over the past few years as my life continues to shift and blossom. Women who are not directly involved in my business, and at this age and time in space, it takes a long time to meet others and be connected. For me. And as I continue to learn how to not allow work to take over all of my time, I can become a hermit, an introvert, even though most of you would not guess that of me… sometimes I can be on fire and command the room…that is my life’s work and passion, but not necessarily my personal life.

I now have special women friends who continue to blow me away with their love and kindness and giving and not asking for anything in return kind of way. And it is so special, and so magical, and so loving. It has been a long time since I have felt that kind of kindred relationship, that connection, yes, very different from my delightful and intense connection with my global dancers, but something so personal, so just us, so I-don’t-need-anything-from-you, kind of relationship, except how to love and listen and be there to share in laughs and secrets and heart-felt wishes and love gone wrong or right or work gone wrong or right or let’s hang out and not have to do anything kind of fun!

What I say to you is to make sure you cultivate those kinds of friendships as you cultivate your business and your dance and your life (my dancers, my teachers, and all working women)… those relationships are not to be made light of… they are magical connections that may not last forever but are super powers in themselves…

In my roll as a coach, as a sacred server for you, creative women, I too continue to have lessons, and love to look at how life can transform, through connections and awareness. With full on gratitude. With pening up, sharing, letting go. Allowing my vulnerability to show, and that makes me stronger, sharper, and more of a soft warrior as I stand tall in my boots or dance barefoot across the path! I get to expand and share my stories with you, as a guide. I show up in my stuff, just as I ask you to show up to live life fully.

My 59th birthday this year brought me many gifts, including a few unexpected deaths that also give one pause, and friendship is the one that stands out the most…

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I am blessed. And I want all of my woman friends, students, sisters, you, to know you are loved, and how much a simple act can mean, nothing is taken for granted, and everything is treasured…

*And now I ask you…how do you balance your work relationships with your friendships, or do you? What are your challenges? What have you learned from them? Share in the comments below and keep this conversation rolling!
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